It’s been a while, a really long while since I last poured my thoughts in here. I do not even know if you guys still take time to read about my what nots,adventures but mostly my misadventures in life. Hey,is there even somebody who takes their time to peek in here.
Well,what can I say? It’s 2013. A new year to start all over again. Maybe to form new bonds or rekindle that old flame or friendship you once shared with someone. Hmm. Above everything else, we should always take time to thank our Dear Lord for the year that passed for it taught us lessons that we would not be able to learn inside the our corners of our classrooms.
Personally, 2012 has been really good to me. I’ve found the job that I enjoy and love. Met new friends and above all, find out how strong I am despite and inspite of all the heartaches, failures and disappointments I’ve faced.
And now, I’m ready for more challenges,will welcome changes with open arms and hopefully, I won’t experience heartbreak/s anymore. I’m praying for that.
Cheers to new beginnings. Hello 2013,I’m so ready for you. It’s my year. I’m claiming it.
This really is goodbye.
Thank you for everything. For the lessons you’ve taught me and for making me understand how it feels to let go. For teaching me that I should never be anyone’s second choice because I deserve the best. Thank you for the happiness, care and love you showered me even though we both know from the start that it will not work. And as the song of Adele goes ” I wish nothing but the best for you too “.
And oh, thanks for that apology, you at least owe me that. :))
I got it bad. Really bad. Maybe I should runaway–not. Or just take a little time off away from everything that will make remind me of him. Of us. Wait,is there ‘us’?
But then we both know that yes, there’s us, there could have been us but cannot because it wasn’t right, definitely not right. Our paths crossed when neither of us could take the risk, especially him. And of course, I wouldn’t dare. I will never be an option or a second choice,though it crossed my mind once but NO! I would never.
He won’t risk it. It’s pretty fcuked up because he’s engaged to be married. Hell yes.one and a half month to go. But then, I actually do not know why isn’t there a pool of tears brimming down my eyes with everything that has occurred. We shared moments. Intimate moments. Crazy moments. Moments that only the two of us understand.
It could have been me if only we met earlier. He said I’m a little too late. But who would have thought that I will get to meet him? Or should it be that I haven’t had met him? But I wouldn’t get to feel all of these. Maybe its fate? Or Destiny?
Oh well,things are really pretty fcuked up.
Sometimes you get to wonder why some people come in your life and make you do things you never thought you’d do. You’ll meet those kind of people along the way to teach you things. And make you experience that high and thrill. But then, after everything, is it all worth it? Was it all worth it?
The euphoria it bring was overwhelming that you somehow forgot that along the way, there are people and things that you might have hurt. That temporary high you felt that was brought by someone may also bring you that temporary scar or maybe, permanent?
You will never know, not unless you’ll be put in that situation. But you wish things were different. Or a choice perhaps? Clueless. Senseless.
In the end of it all, you still have an ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe, that temporary high in a long run will be a permanent bliss.
I do not get it. Yes. I’m actually in a limbo right now. I don’t get other people sometimes.
I don’t know why do other people cannot be contented on what they already have. They want something more. Maybe because, one thing is lacking from what they already have and so come the push to desire something more. I believe that it is not wrong to wish for much better but what if you realize that what you already have is the best? What would you do with that best thing you already have? What about the other one? Will you just leave it?
Or the other way around. What if you realize that the thing you pushed for was better and maybe the best than what you presently have? Will you risk leaving that thing you had for quite a while? Or would you rather grab the other one because you can see a future with it? Or maybe, you know you will learn much more having the other one.
Chances are and I think will always be,70-30. Generally, people do not want to take risk because of the fear of regretting in the future.70% of people’s mind would always stick on what they presently have than risking everything they worked hard for. And what will happen with the remaining 30%? It would just be left with what ifs.
The sad part of life.
Oh yes,my weekend was great and super duper fun filled.
It started last Friday. Inspite of the hard downpour of rain, I still managed to grab dinner with friends to welcome back one of our friend from Japan. That night wasn’t enough because we need to catch up on so many things.
And so, we continued it the next day inspite and despite of the rainfall–still. We had an overnight in my friend’s boyfriend’s condo unit. They made me drink. 0_0 I really do not drink just because I don’t want to. But then they tricked me. Haha. It really was a crazy and fun filled weekend. We just wish that Hannah was also around. I kept on mentioning her name the whole time. Gah, I miss my bestfriend.
So the title of my post says it all. :))
It’s crazy but fulfilling but frustrating and yet addicting.
No,I am not in love. I think so. :)